Monday, July 10, 2006

like sands through the Hourglass...

Cough, sniffle, snuff...
Headache's gone, nasty cold is back with a vengeance. I can only say that I actually feel better than I sound, and am generally up and about, in my low key way.

No news much here. I finished Hourglass. She's blocking. I'm not feeling any love, though. The Sisik is a wee tad itchy next to the skin (it might feel fine, were I in some cold climate where mohair and wool sweaters are supposed to be worn) and requires a camisole or something underneath. Which is fine, since, despite my earnest decreasing, it STILL is chest baring. My thinking is that this would be a terrrific party sweater with a bit o' black or cream lace underneath. I like the shape and the bell sleeves. The rusticness of the yarn is, as one of my Knitters said, Harry Potterish. The neck is badly behaved. I couldn't bring myself to join all those damn live fiddly stitches down and so I just slip stitched the whole thing. It flops over, and I can't decide whether I like it or not. I might give it a whirl in the dryer once it's almost dry, to see if I can coax it into some more shape. A wee bit o' shrinkage wouldn't hurt Miss Hourglass.

I feel like I've been gone forever, though in truth, have been nowhere this weekend. Tracking. The mall.

I have a friend who makes me feel all weird. She's more of an acquaintance, but she is one of those women who have all these chivalry/couple-ish, joined-at-the-hip expectations of the men in her life. She always seems surprised at dinner out, if I don't sit next to my husband (it's not that I'm avoiding the man, it's that I sometimes want to talk with someone else or want to sit somewhere else) or if I don't know where he is when he's not home (he's out, dammit! he doesn't always keep tabs on me!) and last night she called me, and asked where he was in passing conversation, and I said he was taking a walk around the Ala Wai canal, and she asked if he was walking the dogs for me, and I said no, and she said "Why the hell not? You're sick!" and I felt suddenly called upon to defend his choice to walk without the dogs, even though I thought walking the dogs for me might have been a nice thing to do. I'm finding myself wanting to avoid her, in couples situations because it's awkward, it's like she's judging the degree of chivalry and devotion in our relationship. Her husband is a friend of P's, and so we do things with them occasionally. I don't think P notices it, because it happens in conversations directed at me, for the most part. I don't know that her husband is THAT much of a knight in shining armor; he's a nice enough guy. Anyway, I'm not looking for advice, I'm just wearied by it all.

I've put myself on a tight little budget, til school starts, to make my savings last. Last week, I was able to stay inside it, but just barely. This week, I'm struggling and we're only on Monday. Yeesh. See, I had to buy this sake set at Shirokiya. It was on sale, and pretty and blue, and we have some sake that Lia gave me when she emptied her gourmet cupboards into my car, en route to the mainland. I'd been cruising thrift stores for sake cups but to no avail. Funny. Sake sets were the kind of things you'd find all over the thrift stores in CA, but people tend to keep them here. I think people actually drink sake here, LOL.

Anyway the budget...I'm trying to stretch the money til the cash flows again, and it's bumming me out.

In spite of the stretchiness, or rather, what provoked all this stretchiness, was an online sale at Knit Happens, which used to be my LYS, when I lived in Northern Virginia. On sale were Rowan Calmer and Lorna's Laces Lion and Lamb yarns, two of my favorite lusted-after fiber candy, and so I bought. Modestly, with already planned projects in mind, but still, it was a sobering event on the old bank account. So now, I'm on a tighter rein. And waiting for Mr. Postman to bring me my candy.

Little this week, beyond tramping my resume to actual schools, in an attempt to bypass the slow drip of the department of education's progress in giving me a real job. I hate this process, as it requires me to put on a mask, as well as nicer clothes, and work through my pathological fear of selling myself to strangers, but it usually makes me feel better in the end. Like I've actually taken steps to change my situation. The reality is, I don't think I'm going to be hired til the day before or the day after school starts, anyway. That's how most schools do business, in my experience. And even if I am hired before that, my job assignment will change the day before school starts. That's been my employment life, in education. So I'm a bit flexible, even, dare I say, devil-may-care about this employment game. But it is time to start the hustle. ugh.


Stephanie said...

Joined-at-the-hip expectations? Phooey on that! When we go out, I like to socialize with others. I see enough of my husband at home! P.S. Didn't think to offer the lifeguard cake... Darn! A missed opportunity!

Acornbud said...

Hey fun walk today. Thanks. Can't wait to fondle the Lorna's Laces Lion and Lamb. I have seen sake stuff at Savers. I had a whole bunch of them but gave to my nieces. Figured if I took up sake I'd just use a rice bowl, heh.

Moon said...

She doesnt read your blog does she??
Sorry I missed ya yesterday...I miss knitting with you!
Glad your head is your cold needs to get lost!
xo Me