skygazer

Here's how the past few mornings have looked, here in Nuuanu, at about 5:45am. Grey, with little blushes on the clouds, the shape of things to come. We've been getting our typical early morning rain, followed by wind and heat throughout the day.

I haven't written much because, well, there's nothing to report. I am working, and that energy of finding my niche in this new school is consuming me right now. When I think of work, I want to rant, and would rather not put into writing my frustrations with this school system, especially since my grip on employment is so tenuous right now. Mostly I am concentrating on the students, and on keeping myself, my opinions and attitudes about classroom practices, community (this small school community, that is, not the greater Hawaii community) values, and the ever-looming spectre of No Child Left Behind, firmly beneath the radar. It's not cool to come into a new job and find fault with every little thing. Even I know that. But this experience is so different from my last 'newly employed' situation, in VA, where I was stunned at the fit between my and the school's philosophy. I do not feel at home in this place, though I know I have things to learn, and things to teach. It is more of a challenge to work in this environment, to weigh what I am going to say, to measure the damage or good that a strongly voiced opinion will do. So I keep it light. The teachers are nice, welcoming. The test scores are very high. The admin wants to do good work. We will proceed.

I am constantly behind on work, housework, and life in general, right now. Today, I took the last Praxis II test, hopefully. I did 4 essays this time, heh, and hopefully did them well enough to pass the exam. I know I addressed each question, though none too articulately. It seems enough to survive just now.

I am about to turn the heel on the Koigu sock, which is the FIRST sock of the pair, not the second. A laughable moment occured, at knit night, this week, as Lilikoi made a rather pointed question about whether the sock was #1 or #2 in the pair, and then when I pretended to be aghast, made a hasty save by saying "I'm accustomed to seeing more progress from you." Heh. Knit night brings me much joy, in these days of running around like a beheaded chicken.

The 5am arising time would go much better if I didn't spend the time gained drinking coffee and gazing at the sky...but that's what keeps me going.