the crack of dawn

Okay, it looks like I am not going to tracking...I got up, and just don't feel the call to go. I've been the only person out there, of late, and while that's great for being able to use the whole field, I feel like I need for the instructor to be there, to help me get moving onto more difficult tracks. I may take Ella to a schoolyard later this week and try to lay a track with a turn for her.

Meanwhile the dogs are in some sort of crazy wrestling scuffle (it's 6:30am) that involves trash being flung from the office trash can and a purple stuffed teddy bear being used by Ella as a weapon; she's beating Cricket with it. This is typically Ella's approach to combat, to somehow work a toy into the battle, and to use it to bludegeon her opponent. Cricket is all for it, and since he is absolutely impervious to pain (as proven by our having stepped on him with no reaction on his part) the teddy bear could just as well have been a hatchet, with similar results. He uses his sheer bulk to throw himself around and to slam into Ella, who is far more agile and coordinated.

So...no tracking for me today. I doubt it will be much of a setback.

I am determined to spend my entire day awake, to reset my sleep cycle, and to avoid the unpleasantness of the lengthy afternoon nap. I'm also worried about going into one of my summer funks; the one in which I start sleeping/waking at odd hours, and spend waaay too much time vegging on the couch. Now you non-teacher types can send me all the hate mail you want, but the reality is, we NEED the time to recharge our batteries for the coming school year. But I don't need to spend the time doing nothing. It starts with sleep, I think, and keeping myself on a schedule, so that school doesn't hit me like a train, the coming year. I have pre-determined that I will probably have a bitch of a commute, wherever I end up working, which will necessitate early rising and a certain amount of organization. Therefore, it would make sense to have that pattern already established.

Trying not to stress about employment. After all, when have I not been able to get a job? The job of my dreams is another story, but right now, I'm trying to stay open-minded. I don't know why I have low expectations for employment in my life...perhaps because it isn't a priority? Money and benefits, I need, the hassles of career? Those days are over, my friends. Still, the right job could be the one that set me back on the career path. It could, really.

I am reading a book which surprises me, in that I am enjoying the hell out of it: "Jarhead" by Anthony Swofford. I did not see the movie when it came out last fall. It looked great, but somewhere along the line, I decided I'd read the book first; in part because Swofford was a Northern Californian, and had gone to American River College and UC Davis, and there are other writers out of those schools whose work I admire. So I picked it up in December, but have just now gotten around to cracking it open. Swofford's story of ennui and disenchantment with the Marines, and his examination of the indoctrination of a soldier are fascinating. He tells his tale well, and it continues to surprise me, that I, the Peace Corps Volunteer pacifist, like this book with its analysis of weaponry and platoon politics. But what I like is Swofford's voice, it is as much a young man's story as "Independance Day" (the Richard Ford one, not the story of asteroids and aliens or comets or whatever) is a middle-aged man's story. So maybe it's the chance to see in the head of the other sex is what I'm relishing.

P is in Sheptown for a week. I envy his time on the East Coast, even as I enjoy my days here, of a sudden. I think I am falling, finally, into Hawaii's peaceful healing rhythm. Or maybe it's just the joys of summer.

Today there will be the cleaning of my desk, some laundry and dog bathing. There will be no daytime sleeping. I will finish sleeve #1 of Hourglass, and start sleeve #2, because I want that sweater OFF THE NEEDLES, I tell you! I'm trying to get geared up to finish a few things; Mirkwood Kiri being the next candidate for completion, mostly because it is not difficult; I have just fallen out of love with the sheddy, furry mohair and have avoided picking up the project. I have the aran cardigan waiting in the wings, with entirely too much cabling and seed stitch and attention to detail, and do not want to begin this until other, easier distractions are taken care of.

I will post pictures later today, if I can find my camera cable. It's always something.