just a peek in

My sister flies in at 8:30 tonight, and up until that moment, I've served up a huge order of domestic chores, errands and last-minute business for myself. Seems my blissful holiday of peace and mellow has been temporarily derailed. Ahh, well, her visit will force me into my continued quest for fun, instead of stewing in the busyness of my own mind.

Little gone on this week. Christmas was a pleasurable day of gifting and a visit with Patrice, who made the most delicious brunchy foods for us; latkes, frittata, heavenly mimosas and fresh berries. Christmas eve, a party at one of my more tolerable co-workers' house. P was sick, so I went alone, and thoroughly enjoyed the company of her geeky friends, all of whom seem to be involved in one LAN game or another; World of Warcrack, Dark Age of Camelot, etc. Backing up farther, on the 23rd, the NRN had its December gathering, with delicious food, much laughter, little knitting and some tarot reading. Funny how tarot finds me, no matter how I neglect it. So nice to read for such intuitive people as the clever ladies of the NRN, like reading for the other people I loved doing divination for; Magus and Clary. But I digress...I've got dogs to bathe, a vacuum to run and groceries to get.

More on knitting and on some knitting resolutions later this week. Pictures will be back, too, as I found my digital camera, hidden under a flurry of papers at my desk.

equilibrium

So the moon and the sun have turned. Huge relief, though my dislike of the season remains. I even went shopping, at the mall, no less. I had a fairly good time, eating sushi, buying things I liked for people I liked and for myself. I ran into Diane from work, and overall, my final blow towards the holiday gift giving was successful. Now I'm looking forward to the new year, with its austerity and cleanliness, with some optimism.

I didn't do much for Yule. Lit some candles. Hoped to pull out of this not-so-happy space I'm in, pretty soon. Burdock and Nan called me, from Dave's Yule party, back East, which cheered me immensely.

Today, I am calm, and rather pleased with myself, having muddled through a bit of de-cluttering the house,(there's much, much more to do)and have been spinning some, too. Spinning. Last night, at Mocha Java, Opal, the Akamai Knitter gave me some beautiful blue and some cafe au lait roving, and I've been playing around with that, and the white corriedale roving, too. Making funky thick and thin yarns, because let's face it, that's all I know how to spin. It is enjoyable, and meditative and a bit calming and the perfect thing for a cool damp evening. I think I'm ready to read a handspinning tutorial, now, as I'm able to sort of isolate what's really hard for me. I'm not even sure I'm doing it right, that self-taught thing rearing its head again.

I haven't blogged in awhile, mostly because so much has gone by, fast and furious. I chose sleep over writing time. I let pass the U2 concert, which was fabulous, the elementary school winter program, equally (okay, I exaggerate) fabulous, and my discovery of an open field with a view of the ocean in which to run my dogs after 5pm. Imagine, an open field in Honolulu, uncluttered by soccer players and other dogs?!

Work has been somewhat enjoyable. My mentor released me, a huge perk, since now I no longer have to fret about her observation dates. I liked her, though, and felt she was sympathetic to my plight. The OCD Maternity Leave co-teacher returns in January. Not a good thing, not a bad thing; again, it's just something to get through.

I am not sleepy in the least. Not that I should be, at 7pm, but usually I'm fatigued. Ahhhhh, vacation! Ahhhh, the turning of the sun!

just a soldier

Ugh. The holiday season has just grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and given me a good shake, and I am laying limp and useless here under the covers, wishing for a fast forward of just a few days. I know we shouldn't wish our lives away in such a manner, but this season always finds me not in the mood for it.

Am I a soldier in the war on Christmas?

More likely, the war on consumerism, trumped-up expectations and short, short time, combined with my own seasonal affective disorder, which seems to be a factor, even here in sunny Hawaii, or maybe it's just the lack of quality beach time in my life. Relief is coming, but not nearly soon enough.

I heard one of the most hostile conversations today, between a teacher and a custodian, that I've ever heard. Our principal was sitting in the room when it took place, and I'm not sure what surprised me more; that the teacher was talking to the custodian this way, or that the administrator didn't intervene. Maybe, and I hope this is the case, she had a private word with the two concerned, at a later time.

Meanwhile, I am plagued by little knitting, vivid dreams at night, and the sense that I can only be cured by hot baths, long drives and longer naps in the sun.

I go sleep now.

the battle continues

I came home this afternoon and found a wee mouse sitting in the middle of the living room. He seemed lifeless, and thinking maybe Cricket had gotten hold of him, I gave him a poke with my toe. He ran behind the hutch. So I set the mousetrap and put it by the hutch. Later I saw him creeping out by the baseboard and I tried to catch him, but he scampered back in. He's not very fast, it's like he's not 100% or something. Hmmmmm. If I can get him in the clear, I might try and scoop him up in the dustpan and toss him in a bag and release him up the hill. Again, not my favorite thing to do, but if I can get to him before he traps himself, I'll just send him packing. I hadn't seen rat bastard (mouse bastard?) in a while and was considering myself lucky, but now, maybe not. But I am maybe winning the cockroach war, as I killed one this morning in the pantry and found a dead one on the deck this afternoon. Okay, maybe not winning; as for every roach you see, there are like 200 you don't see.

Telling Patrice I had roaches, she roared with laughter and reminded me that everyone in Hawaii has roaches. Funny, it used to be such a mark of shame in my family, growing up, having any kind of vermin in the house...

Patrice is so sassy. She called me at 8am this morning to inform me that she'd heard this story and was suggesting that maybe my problem of dissatisfaction with my job could be improved chemically. Oh my...before school, too.

Cricket has an ear infection. Rather, change that to say that Cricket keeps an ear infection. He's getting Zymox and shaking his head, but the Zymox is supposed to be a miracle drug for such a problem. After that runs out, we're switching to a cleaning solution that's some unholy mix of gentian violet, boric acid and rubbing alcohol that is supposed to be the magic bullet. I'm sure, had he been feeling up to par, he'd have finished Slow Mousie off.


Here's a peek at my particular drug of choice, for late afternoon revival.

gathering my strength

Today is a day, according to my pagan-flavored dayplanner, for strengthening one's intuition. Only my intuition is working fine. I've been getting HUGE vibes from my friend Tan, all weekend long. I got in touch with her, finally, to hear that her mother has had a crisis, she'd had a hell week, and her lover's high maintenance-ness was about to push her over the edge. We had a nice long talk, she vented, I listened and lamented that we weren't able to do this in person, but we were both impressed, anew, at how when one of us needs to talk to the other, we just throw it out there, and ZIP! the other calls. It works that way with my friend Yolanda, too; I'll be thinking of her and she'll call me up. It happens too often to call it coincidence. Both Tan and Yolanda are women I'd say are operating along the same witchly lines as me; not good at a daily disciplined practice, nevertheless, we are users (and abusers?) of practical magic.

No, I'm thinking more of anchoring energy tonight, into something more solid and able to sustain me through this darkening season, and through the insane holiday madness that is ripping through my school, as we get ready for the Winter Program, which I'm told, is the biggest fete of the year. Le sigh. Yolanda used to tell me it was madness to do night performances with Kindergarteners, yet here I am, making little red noses and reindeer antlers and taping lines on the stage for them to stand on. Performance anxiety, much?

Brief interlude, while I tended my chicken soup, and had a nice chat with Patrice. Our respective spouses (spice?) are flung about the Pacific right now, so we had the usual laundry list conversation about dogs, our man Cesar Millan, irritating co-workers, the impending U2 concert, and cocktail recipes.

In an unrelated digression, I must say that I am enjoying my new habit of drinking an espresso right after work each day. Driving home over the Pali, feeling utterly spent and defeated by work, I find myself envisioning 2 options. One involves my bed, "All Things Considered" on NPR and reading "Entertainment Weekly" til I doze off, and the other involves firing up the Barista and dripping myself 2oz of the Elixir of Life, which can bring me up to speed for a few more hours to walk the dogs, figure dinner and have an evening. As much as I long for the first option, the second is probably the wiser. It works well, too.

Off to run a bath, and work on this sustaining energy project.

gadgets and toys

We have a new computer, a modern iMac. An overloaded, expiring old one, combined with a 1-day sale served to tip my gimmick-happy spouse over the edge to bring new tech joy to my life. Since it's new, I'll have to share it with him for a few weeks, til he grows tired of the desktop enslavement, and returns to his laptop. I do not share well, but since I have the only respectably sized desk in the house, I get to house it, and since I'm trading my poor ailing machine in, this one is functionally mine. A marvellously big monitor screen makes me wish I did something more creative with my computer time than play Snood and surf the web, but it's pearls before swine here, all the way.

Speaking of pearls, my Pony Pearl dpn's are housing Rosedale's first sleeve now. I love these needles, they are sharp, smooth, shiny and feel like they knit faster than my bamboo ones. They are a little bit heavy, which lends a feeling of stability to the work. I'm pleased with how the sleeves are coming. My plan is to try and make both sleeves match, as best I can, because the sweater is circus-y enough without having two different sleeves. I'm loving this blue-into-green part of the colorway.

slippaz

Should I brazenly just write in here as though I didn't completely crash and burn during NaBloPoMo? It feels as though I owe an explanation, especially as so many of those whom I read did really well in this endeavor. I just ran out of steam, of things to say, of time to write. I'm back, and who can say where this is all going? I just got kind of sick of writing and reading myself, reading about how work sucks and how I knit 2 more rows and drank a glass of wine and ate some chocolate, and on and on and on.

This pix doesn't show it, but my poor feet are taking a beating, recently. Two weeks ago, I was walking Cricket on Kailua beach, and I became aware that every few steps, he was placing his big forepaw on the outer edge of my left foot. I'd been encouraging him to walk close in heel position, and he was exacting his revenge at such strictures by giving me a little stomp. It didn't bother me, until it started to bother me. A toe, the second from the pinky toe, to be exact, developed a horrendous bruise, and I had to wear closed shoes for a few days.

A few days later, I was barefoot in the classroom and caught my pinkie toe on a loose carpet thread and wrenched it back. Sickeningly painful when it happened, it still hurts, though only a dull ache, now.

The stubbed toe, the glass cut in the ball of the foot, the stone bruise on the heel from jumping off the wall onto my patio...all hazardous by-products of a life dedicated to wearing the slippah, if shoes at all.



These Surfahs I bought my 2nd day on Oahu, last September. They are my favorites, and I fear their demise. I've gone through others, but I've nursed these along, as they are the perfect silky smooth, flexible rubber, soft, worn thin comfort shoe. I think they cost $3.00 or something at Long's.

But the nails, they need augmentation.